You can buy a Cake & IceCream Burrito at Qdoba, or a Cigarette & Tetanus Burrito for the grownups. There's always room for Qdoba. Qdoba - Are you hungry? Come on over.
We've been expecting you at Qdoba. Hope you enjoy your stay.
If you're here at Qdoba, you know what to expect. We let our restaurant speak for itself. Advertisements? $500,000. Knowing you're getting a tasty treat with real sugar cane and churned, semisweet unhydrogenated fortified tortillas with real flour&vinaigrette on the top.
Why not stop over at Qdoba's for a bite to eat? Qdoba is like your friend except he never bugs you for season tickets to a sports event or hits on your wife and children when you're eating a burger with the dog. Qdoba - it's always dinner here, and it's friendly.
Get your ass over to Qdoba and take a whiff of the new scratch & sniff burrito. I know you're going to buy one. Just hurry the fuck up and do it and maybe you'll get laid since you're not being a stupid pussy and not coming to Qdoba.
Qdoba is the home of the world's first (and best) lemon slices. Enjoy them inside your burrito, in your soft drink, in your powerade or your brownie. Yes - we sell brownies. They aren't spicy as much as... sweet. That's right, we put real sugar in our brownies. It's time to unbuckle the belt.
At the very least come get a cookie. I told my bro to look at their cookies. He looked at them. And he fuckin loved em! He could not believe that Qdoba had cookies until I called Qdoba and asked. It was like stealing breastmilk from a baby.
The next time you go out, make sure you only go to Qdoba.
Qdoba - the place to be seen when you want to eat food and drink lots of pop and water.
Even beer. What? You look positively spooked. You can't believe Qdoba serves beer. You're getting in your car and you're driving to Qdoba and you're calling everyone in your phonebook because it's party time. You just heard about the new kickin place and it's time to be popular with everyone in town and dis your wife a lot. You should steal her Oasis and Jewel CDs and play them on the way here. We're too busy making food to talk.
Speaking of which, qdoba is the bomb for catering. Got a funeral? Is it halftime and you want to surprise the football team with some footlong RufflesTM ridges and a crust with spelt melk?
Get your sexy little ass over to Qdoba.
This is the gay spot. Cum on in at Qdoba.
Variety is the (adobo) spice of life. Qdoba - don't be a boring piece of shit.
Qdoba is where Emilio Estevez hangs out sometimes and Horatio Sanz eats by the bathroom. If you're interested in something besides all the good shit we have like burritos, soup and unlimited tater tots. We don't really have tater tots. Sorry at Qdoba.
Qdoba loves to be held, pet and talked to. Qdoba will moan and gargle, but never grunt. Qdoba will evolve into Qdobaeotto at level 21. Qdoba can also drink at age 21. Coincidence? Qdobathinks not.
"Qdoba is the public eatery with big time fung shway and a great climate" - Bill Gates. Fur'real.
Qdoba guy with the big hat who is rich and hot? Yeah, that guy. Bet you he's in line at Qdoba and you can go get him if you hurry.
Qdoba - ahead of being better at all the rest.
Qdoba - watch out. Your stomach might get full.
Qdoba - Eating our burritos is like having a sexy girlfriend - they both are tasty and hot.
Thanks for checking qdoba.com out. Mmm - toasted.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Friday, November 28, 2008
Working Full Time
I got a job with KPMG shortly following graduation from college.
I have been living in hell ever since. Every manager is a complete moron. Clients are worthless and can't decide on any requirements. Projects completely change geographic areas from month to month. On a Friday I'll be in DC, the following monday in Utah, and the next Friday in Bumfuck Ohio.
There are policies for everything, regardless of whether they have any useful purpose of not. I have to go through a billing system to purchase a software license that takes 3 hours, 5 different cryptic charge codes, and manager approval, when I could have instead bought it cheaper from an online vendor using my company credit card.
I hate this job and want to die.
I have been living in hell ever since. Every manager is a complete moron. Clients are worthless and can't decide on any requirements. Projects completely change geographic areas from month to month. On a Friday I'll be in DC, the following monday in Utah, and the next Friday in Bumfuck Ohio.
There are policies for everything, regardless of whether they have any useful purpose of not. I have to go through a billing system to purchase a software license that takes 3 hours, 5 different cryptic charge codes, and manager approval, when I could have instead bought it cheaper from an online vendor using my company credit card.
I hate this job and want to die.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Final semester
My final semester of college was bittersweet. For the first few months, I dreaded the idea of graduating and having to face the cold reality of a lifelong career. I moped and whined, and eventually went into denial. I began to just completely ignore the fact I would graduate. This period, however, was probably the worst of my semester, as I didn't get much accomplished socially or intellectually. I watched television, read forums and Wikipedia online, and played an exorbitant amount of Guitar Hero 2--something I swore to myself I would never do.
Somewhere around early March I realized graduation wouldn't be all bad. After talking with a friend who was also graduating, I realized some of the best times of my life have been during the summer at home. While college was always a nice retreat and a great place to avoid the parents and drink full time, I missed my old friends and Northern Virginia. As I suffer from mild social anxiety, I tend to enjoy myself more when forced into social situations, like when I'm working full time. Having to interact with new people on a daily basis for hours at a time really opens me up and gets me feeling good. As soon as I fessed up to the fact, I began enjoying myself more. Not only that, but I also start to set goals.
I decided I wanted to finish off my college career strong. I had been floundering academically, satisfied with my almost perpetual 2.9 GPA. After beginning to actually study for tests (i.e., reading chapters and actually memorizing material for more than 2 hours) I noticed a stark improvement in my grades. I posted a final GPA of almost 3.5--my best ever. I also decided I wanted to look good for the summer. I had been on and off short term diets since my first semester of junior year. They were however, too lenient in the amount of exercise and way too lax in terms of diet. I ate nothing but gumbys pizzas, potato chips, French fries, and tater tots for almost three years of college. This semester I was determined to stave off my old eating habits. Despite the fact I would need to spend more money, I realized it was worth the cost. I began to eat only relatively healthy and simple items. The best healthy entrees I could come up with on a relatively thin budget were things like lean Chili, lentil soup, chicken Caesar wraps, and snacks like fat free and baked chips, yogurt, granola bars, and popcorn. I also realized I could eat less and still feel healthy and energetic. Coupled with a healthy amount of exercise (400 step-ups, 200 sit-ups, and 60 push-ups per day three times a week) I managed to lose nearly 40 pounds in three months, going from 205 to 168. I literally haven’t been this thin since high school, and I imagine I weighed more at some point since I was always to scared to weigh myself during my peak girth.
I finally graduated in early May and really enjoyed myself. Although there was still a lingering feeling of anticipation, it was a relief to know I’d never have to study for a hard week of tests, spend 30 hours in a week working on a group project, or deliver an academic presentation again. Now I’m readying myself for work, which I start in mid June at a major computer corporation. I sincerely hope I enjoy my job and find it rewarding but not overwhelming . Things are beginning to fall into place and I would really like to buy a condo sometime toward the end of the summer.
Also, that new Nissan Truck is looking pretty sexy… :)
Somewhere around early March I realized graduation wouldn't be all bad. After talking with a friend who was also graduating, I realized some of the best times of my life have been during the summer at home. While college was always a nice retreat and a great place to avoid the parents and drink full time, I missed my old friends and Northern Virginia. As I suffer from mild social anxiety, I tend to enjoy myself more when forced into social situations, like when I'm working full time. Having to interact with new people on a daily basis for hours at a time really opens me up and gets me feeling good. As soon as I fessed up to the fact, I began enjoying myself more. Not only that, but I also start to set goals.
I decided I wanted to finish off my college career strong. I had been floundering academically, satisfied with my almost perpetual 2.9 GPA. After beginning to actually study for tests (i.e., reading chapters and actually memorizing material for more than 2 hours) I noticed a stark improvement in my grades. I posted a final GPA of almost 3.5--my best ever. I also decided I wanted to look good for the summer. I had been on and off short term diets since my first semester of junior year. They were however, too lenient in the amount of exercise and way too lax in terms of diet. I ate nothing but gumbys pizzas, potato chips, French fries, and tater tots for almost three years of college. This semester I was determined to stave off my old eating habits. Despite the fact I would need to spend more money, I realized it was worth the cost. I began to eat only relatively healthy and simple items. The best healthy entrees I could come up with on a relatively thin budget were things like lean Chili, lentil soup, chicken Caesar wraps, and snacks like fat free and baked chips, yogurt, granola bars, and popcorn. I also realized I could eat less and still feel healthy and energetic. Coupled with a healthy amount of exercise (400 step-ups, 200 sit-ups, and 60 push-ups per day three times a week) I managed to lose nearly 40 pounds in three months, going from 205 to 168. I literally haven’t been this thin since high school, and I imagine I weighed more at some point since I was always to scared to weigh myself during my peak girth.
I finally graduated in early May and really enjoyed myself. Although there was still a lingering feeling of anticipation, it was a relief to know I’d never have to study for a hard week of tests, spend 30 hours in a week working on a group project, or deliver an academic presentation again. Now I’m readying myself for work, which I start in mid June at a major computer corporation. I sincerely hope I enjoy my job and find it rewarding but not overwhelming . Things are beginning to fall into place and I would really like to buy a condo sometime toward the end of the summer.
Also, that new Nissan Truck is looking pretty sexy… :)
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
Reflections on Virginia Tech shootings
Yesterday was a surreal day. I didn't learn of the shootings until after I had returned from my morning classes at around 1PM. The first news reports convinced me it was a fairly isolated incident with only a few casualties, but as that number exploded to over 30, I began feeling more and more frightened and saddened. It's not often there is a school shooting, and its less often there’s a Virginia school shooting, and even less often more than 30 innocent students are killed in less than 3 hours.
I took solace in a letter from the University of Virginia's President John Casteen to the students, available here. His words are heartfelt and powerful, and in my opinion do a better job in summing the thoughts of so many of us than any news report or editorial yet published.
After the initial shock of the event, my fear and sadness began turning to anger. Throughout my life I've advocated more stringent gun purchasing requirements and firearm controls. About two years ago I decided once and for all that no civilian in the United States should be able to own a handgun. There is simply no need for one. Practially all of Western Europe, Canada, and Japan is gun-free and they aren’t anarchical. Many on the pro-gun side of the debate will make the point "guns don't kill people, people kill people". That is undeniable--a gun cannot kill someone without some external intervention. However, the failure of that argument is that we, as a society, have to draw a line as what dangerous weapons civilians can and cannot own. Knives don't kill people, people kill people is also a logical argument. The flaw is that knives don't have the potential to kill tens of people. A person can't walk into a classroom and kill 32 students and faculty with a knife. The opposite of that argument is demonstrated in that we, as citizens and civilians of the United States, cannot own armored tanks with artillery shells. This, from my perspective, is the same reason we should not be allowed to own handguns. They have an enormous capacity for loss of life.
Pro-gun activists will also claim that thorough psychological screenings and background checks will weed out the potential sociopaths and mass murderers. While this is true for the most part, we will never be able to detect 100% of these people. All it takes is one disgruntled and mentally disturbed person to kill so many, as again was evident from yesterday's events.
Virginia has some frighteningly relaxed gun purchasing laws, as noted in this SciAm blog post. We need to address these issues before another Virginia Tech can happen.
I took solace in a letter from the University of Virginia's President John Casteen to the students, available here. His words are heartfelt and powerful, and in my opinion do a better job in summing the thoughts of so many of us than any news report or editorial yet published.
After the initial shock of the event, my fear and sadness began turning to anger. Throughout my life I've advocated more stringent gun purchasing requirements and firearm controls. About two years ago I decided once and for all that no civilian in the United States should be able to own a handgun. There is simply no need for one. Practially all of Western Europe, Canada, and Japan is gun-free and they aren’t anarchical. Many on the pro-gun side of the debate will make the point "guns don't kill people, people kill people". That is undeniable--a gun cannot kill someone without some external intervention. However, the failure of that argument is that we, as a society, have to draw a line as what dangerous weapons civilians can and cannot own. Knives don't kill people, people kill people is also a logical argument. The flaw is that knives don't have the potential to kill tens of people. A person can't walk into a classroom and kill 32 students and faculty with a knife. The opposite of that argument is demonstrated in that we, as citizens and civilians of the United States, cannot own armored tanks with artillery shells. This, from my perspective, is the same reason we should not be allowed to own handguns. They have an enormous capacity for loss of life.
Pro-gun activists will also claim that thorough psychological screenings and background checks will weed out the potential sociopaths and mass murderers. While this is true for the most part, we will never be able to detect 100% of these people. All it takes is one disgruntled and mentally disturbed person to kill so many, as again was evident from yesterday's events.
Virginia has some frighteningly relaxed gun purchasing laws, as noted in this SciAm blog post. We need to address these issues before another Virginia Tech can happen.
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
Happening in the last two months
I haven't posted an update in a while due to several factors, one is that I've been fairly busy with finishing my coursework for my last semester as an undergraduate, and two is that I've been doing a lot of partying.
I finally got a job as a consultant/IT specialist with IBM Application Innovation Services, which is both exciting and somewhat overwhelming. Previously, I've only been employed by public sector government entities, which are typically considered some of the laziest jobs on the face of the Earth. This is pretty much true, as I've based my performance in these jobs on Peter Gibbon's philosohpy in Office Space of "working just hard enough to not get fired". I'm used to being lazy and not facing any consequences, but I do know I have the capacity to work hard if I enjoy something and find it challenging. Also, they're paying me a ridiculous amount of money, so I have a huge incentive compared to my past jobs where I've earned no more than $15-17/hour.
I finally got a job as a consultant/IT specialist with IBM Application Innovation Services, which is both exciting and somewhat overwhelming. Previously, I've only been employed by public sector government entities, which are typically considered some of the laziest jobs on the face of the Earth. This is pretty much true, as I've based my performance in these jobs on Peter Gibbon's philosohpy in Office Space of "working just hard enough to not get fired". I'm used to being lazy and not facing any consequences, but I do know I have the capacity to work hard if I enjoy something and find it challenging. Also, they're paying me a ridiculous amount of money, so I have a huge incentive compared to my past jobs where I've earned no more than $15-17/hour.
Wednesday, January 31, 2007
A Question to Ponder
In a November 2006 interview by Charlie Rose with Bill Gates, Rose asked the question "Is there a downside for us [Americans] that the center of innovation, creativity and technological discovery maybe moving off the American shores or is this meaningless because of the free exchange of information [globally]"?
For some reason this question stuck in my mind and I can't quite come up with an answer.
For some reason this question stuck in my mind and I can't quite come up with an answer.
Friday, January 26, 2007
eBay Stupidity
I've blogged about how shitty a website it is before, but this post will focus on a different aspect of the beloved auction site--shitty people.
I've noted that many people seem to think eBay is the only place to buy products on the internet, and that may explain why most of the people who buy things from my auctions are completely retarded. In the past month, I've sold probably 10 items on eBay, ranging from old clothes to new cell phones to guitar pedals. From these 10 auctions, only about 2 were completed smoothly. In one case, a man (presumably a very old man) from Montana bought a mount for a GPS unit from me. Upon completion of an auction, the winning bidder is sent a "YOU'VE WON AN ITEM, PAY NOW DUMBASS" email. When I hadn't received payment three days after the auction ended, I attempted to email him, only to immediately receive a wonderful "mailer daemon" email not found reply. This guy had been bidding on items for months with a non-working email. I then sent him a message through ebay's messaging system, however, this system heavily relies on the fact that when you receive a new message, an email is dispatched to let you know you have a new message. Quite the Catch 22. I eventually had to use his address information I got from ebay to look him up on google phonebook and actually CALL him to request he pay. I left a message on his answering machine, and that night I received a request from him via ebay for the item total. THE AMOUNT YOU BID PLUS THE SHIPPING COST IS THE TOTAL. Honestly, how can someone without the reasoning ability to determine the final cost of an auction use a computer at all? And when he finally did pay, he used a money order which I explicitly forbade in the auction listing. I seriously considered just keeping the money order and sending him a piece of paper with MAILER DAEMON ITEM NOT FOUND written on it.
The next sale I made, the winning bidder contacted me after the auction and tried to renegotiate the price based on the fact he found the same item at Circuit City for less. I declined his request.
The other winning bidders all took between 3 days and week to pay via paypal. I realized people are busy. I realize people have full-time jobs and may not check their personal email on a daily basis. But come on, if you know you're bidding for something on ebay check your mail every so often to see if you've won. It takes literally 2-3 minutes to checkout via paypal. If you can't make time for that in less than a week you have serious problems.
I've noted that many people seem to think eBay is the only place to buy products on the internet, and that may explain why most of the people who buy things from my auctions are completely retarded. In the past month, I've sold probably 10 items on eBay, ranging from old clothes to new cell phones to guitar pedals. From these 10 auctions, only about 2 were completed smoothly. In one case, a man (presumably a very old man) from Montana bought a mount for a GPS unit from me. Upon completion of an auction, the winning bidder is sent a "YOU'VE WON AN ITEM, PAY NOW DUMBASS" email. When I hadn't received payment three days after the auction ended, I attempted to email him, only to immediately receive a wonderful "mailer daemon" email not found reply. This guy had been bidding on items for months with a non-working email. I then sent him a message through ebay's messaging system, however, this system heavily relies on the fact that when you receive a new message, an email is dispatched to let you know you have a new message. Quite the Catch 22. I eventually had to use his address information I got from ebay to look him up on google phonebook and actually CALL him to request he pay. I left a message on his answering machine, and that night I received a request from him via ebay for the item total. THE AMOUNT YOU BID PLUS THE SHIPPING COST IS THE TOTAL. Honestly, how can someone without the reasoning ability to determine the final cost of an auction use a computer at all? And when he finally did pay, he used a money order which I explicitly forbade in the auction listing. I seriously considered just keeping the money order and sending him a piece of paper with MAILER DAEMON ITEM NOT FOUND written on it.
The next sale I made, the winning bidder contacted me after the auction and tried to renegotiate the price based on the fact he found the same item at Circuit City for less. I declined his request.
The other winning bidders all took between 3 days and week to pay via paypal. I realized people are busy. I realize people have full-time jobs and may not check their personal email on a daily basis. But come on, if you know you're bidding for something on ebay check your mail every so often to see if you've won. It takes literally 2-3 minutes to checkout via paypal. If you can't make time for that in less than a week you have serious problems.
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